Strip English

My International Finance class was canceled tonight, and so I asked Tram if I could go with her to help her teach tonight. Last night we taught, as a team, the adult class, and it was lots of fun. MUCH more fun than teaching kids (though they were cute). Because our teaching styles are so different and yet seemingly complimentary, we decided that we would just teach with each other whenever we could and split the pay. This may seem like I'm dividing my pay in half for no reason, but I'd rather spend twice as long doing something that's actually fun than spend half the time sweating bullets in front of an expectant class.

The adults pretty much know all the English vocabulary that one would need to get around, so we spent our class talking about colloquialisms. You know- "beat around the bush," "let someone down," "make fun of someone," "feel like a million bucks," and the like. They absolutely love learning things that they think real Americans say, and it's the greatest classroom environment you could imagine. They listen, they ask intelligent questions, they laugh at the right times, etc.... we even got applause at the end of both nights that we have taught.

And are there funny stories? You bet there are! I have to warn my readership that the following stories result from language misunderstandings and honest intellectual curiosity, and as such are mostly funny in a slightly inappropriate way (I'm sure that most of you that know me well are shocked).

So the first one (which is sort of my favorite) started when I inadvertently used the word "strip," as defined by a small piece/slice of something. A very confused Chinese man raised his hand in the front and said "is that all that word means? I think it have different meaning."

"ummm" I replied.

"What is the meaning of this word?" another Chinese woman asked, innocently. I looked at Tram, who was already laughing. I looked at the 35 adults in front of me, eagerly searching for an answer that only I possessed.

"Well it's a noun... like this piece of paper here. If I take scissors and cut this piece off, this is a strip of paper.... and it's also a verb. And the noun associated with the verb is 'stripper,' and a 'stripper' is someone who 'strips.' And what that means is that she takes her clothes off for money." I pause. "and I guess it could be a guy, too."

A man in the middle row who has very long hair raised his hand. "Why would someone want to cut off her clothes?" There was a murmur of agreement in the group.

"Well you see, the two meanings of the word really don't have anything to do with one another. Tram?" Tram was not helpful. "A stripper just takes her clothes off. She doesn't cut them. She just... removes them." I looked out and saw that great confusion was still rampant, though one or two of the more knowledgeable students were giggling.

"Well they dance and there's music, and they take their clothes off." I offer.

"Do they take the clothes off before or after they dance?"

"... I... would guess probably during... do you understand?" And I could tell from the laughter that they did. And if they didn't, I wasn't going to explain further.

After class, another guy told me that he watched "Friends" a lot, and he understood most of it, but he didn't understand one phrase. He seemed a very serious guy, and his English was very good. I asked what the phrase was. He said: "nice butt, great rack." I paused, and then explained as technically I could. I then excused myself to go laugh for a few solid minutes. Maybe you had to be there to see why this was funny, but even after the last story I just didn't see that coming.

The students were very nice to Tram and I after the class was over, and about fifteen stayed afterwards to sit and talk with us at the bar while we ate (because Peng fed us again). In the best compliment since I've been in China, one of the guys (I say guys, they're all 30-40 years old) asked what days we were teaching, so that he could be sure to come back for those days. He said Tram and I taught the best English classes that he'd had since he started coming to the bar for English lessons (and if you ignore the part of the sentence that says "since he started coming to the BAR for English lessons" it's really a great compliment).