Weekly Update

Is this weekly now? I feel like I've cheated my original plan, but I feel as though the posts I do now are more content-rich. At least that's what I tell myself so that I can sleep at night.

Before I get into the actual weekly update, do you know what I found in China that really boosts my ego? Engaging in any sort of strength competition with small Asian girls. It's not fair, but fairness has very little to do with self-esteem.


FRIDAY

On Friday evening we took our first Chinese class field trip. We had been bugging Li Laoshi for a while to take us somewhere, and we settled on the Beijing Opera, at a place near Tienanmen Square called the Laoshi Tea House. To get there, we had to take the subway, which was...

You know, a little crowded.

But that's OK because, though the crowds at the subway stations are huge, the discipline and order of every passenger is impeccable. It was eerie how quiet a mass of thousands of people could be while shuffling along in an orderly manner.

Once we were in the subway, we all became very close friends. I would show you how close, but my friends were enjoying my company so much that they got close enough so as to restrict all arm movement, so I couldn't get my camera out. As Lauren said, if we had been forced to take the subway before we all knew each other, it might have been awkward.

We made small talk amongst ourselves on the way there, and at some point Steve said something about Communists. Lauren and Maria launched into a chorus about how he wasn't allowed to do that here. Steve retaliated with a very loud diatribe about how no one could understand what he was saying so he could say whatever he wanted about Communists. The train stopped.

"Which door do we get out of?" said Steve.

"The one over there" said a helpful Chinese man behind him, pointing at the opposing door. Oh irony, what fun you are.

We made it to the performance with about ten minutes to spare, and they brought us several light snacks- pumpkin seeds, spring rolls, random balls of things that could either be covered in sugar or flour... the normal stuff. None of us had eaten, so we devoured the snacks available and then asked about getting more. After finding that each spring roll was only 1 kuai (.13 cents) we promptly ordered 35.

Now, the actual Beijing Opera turned out to be much better than I was expecting. I had prepared myself for two hours of solid glass-shattering screeches and overwrought gestures, but as it turns out, my preconceived notions were entirely wrong. Except for the costumes. I was right about those...

We were in the back. I'm so glad my camera has 30X zoom

There was a mixture of singing, music playing, dancing, martial arts, tumbling, sound-effects making, and even stand-up comedy. After the comedians came out, I asked Li Laoshi to translate some of the things that she was laughing at. One of the jokes was basically this:

1- "So there's a farmer, and he has three animals. A is pig. B is horse. C is dog."
2- "C is dog, B is horse. Pig is what?"
1- "A"
2- "What is A?"
1- "Pig."

And oh how the people did laugh. I feel, like I usually do, as though something was lost in the translation. In general, though, I am very proud that the Chinese people have now raised their humor to near-Abbot and Costello levels.

After the show, of which I have several short videos that I'll try to edit into something watchable, we took a group picture.

Left to right: Heather, Me, Maria, Steve, Li Laoshi, Lauren, Jennifer, Anna
(classmates not present: CJ and Alisha)

Many more pictures with various combinations of people were taken, and pretty soon Maria started jumping in shots to try and screw them up. I tried to stop her one time. I tell you this to explain the following picture, which I enjoy quite a bit.

It was as if an occult hand had reached out and saved the picture.

After returning to the Wudaoku subway, we all went to Pyro (even Li Laoshi!) for a post-opera drink.


SATURDAY

I signed up for a trip to go to the 798 art district. It consists of an enormous complex of former factories (textile mills, mostly) that were taken over by rogue artists in the late 80's and built into the center for the Chinese modern art movement. Once you're there, you're allowed to walk around and go into pretty much any building to see free, museum-quality modern art exhibits and put your finger on the pulse of the current trends. If you like art, you would love this place.

I wasn't able to get any pictures of the really cool stuff, because every building had a "no pictures" policy, but there was some pointillism, impressionism, abstract, sculpture, video (one about a man and his horse... and by horse I mean bike that he constructed a horse's head around), etc... If any of my friends got some sneaky shots, I'll post them in the next blog.

There was ONE place we were allowed to take pictures, and that was in an exhibit featuring the too-often-ignored medium of enormous mirrors. The highlight was a giant cube in the middle, the inside of which was all glass.

Amy, Maria and I inside modern art

Saturday night we tried to watch V for Vendetta, but that turned out to be an epic fail as, after getting halfway through the movie, the computer we were watching on overheated. Instead, we (Jessie, Ben, Me, Will, Hillary) ended up sitting around and talking about bad roommate experiences we had in the past. Jessie and Ben currently live with a really nice guy who, at the same time, KNOWS he is a bad roommate and seems to revel in it. A prolonged and well-acted story involving his morning routine of waking up at 5AM and banging on every object in the room while simultaneously talking loudly to himself won out as being the most hilarious of the night.

SUNDAY

On Sunday afternoon I finally got to meet Daisy, my grandmother's friend and tour guide from almost twenty years ago. We met at the Wudaoku subway station and went to a local cafe for some tea and cake. She brought a friend with her who isn't quite a monk but still locks herself in Tibetan monestaries for months at a time. And also, she knows Gong-fu, the actually dangerous version of Tai Chi. She didn't speak very much English, but Daisy translated and every now and then I was able to throw out some Chinese vocabulary. Daisy invited me to Peking Roast Duck on Thursday night, and that's what Beijing is famous for, so it sounds good to me.

That evening, Will and I walked into the English Bar expecting to continue teaching Casablanca. Instead, we found that the TV had been moved and we had to make up a lesson on the spot. We talked about American politics for an hour and a half. Oh, and films and TV shows. They LOVE "Prison Break" here. In fact, every time I introduce myself to a room of Chinese people, they all chuckle and someone will yell "Michael Scofield!" like I know who that is. They enjoyed our lecture, though, and decided at the end that, if Forrest Gump were a real person, they'd want him to be President. I just imagined him sitting in a room full of high ranking officials saying "My momma always said..." and it made me laugh.


MONDAY

Tai Chi, Chinese, and laundry.



Movie review of the week: The Legend of 1900

One of our Chinese friends suggested this movie to Will and lent him her copy. It was made a while ago by an Italian director (who also wrote the script) and follows the life of a boy abandoned on a transatlantic steamer in the year 1900. I understood exactly why our Chinese friend (for whom English and American movies are both relatively new) liked it- there was a simple fable being told and lots of interesting music being played. The visuals are excellent, and the idea isn't bad, but still this has to be the most terrible good movie I've ever seen. I call it a "good" movie, not because it was, but because the all of the plot, action, scenery, and especially the dialogue- are all direct rip-offs of other, actually good movies. The director/writer, while perhaps having a good grasp on the English language right now, has no idea the way people talked 100 years ago. In any given scene, if one were to think of the most cliched, overdone thing that a character could possibly say in that given situation, I guarantee that The Legend of 1900 will blow your mind with its psychic abilities.

The film opens on a poor trumpet player in the street, talking in a voiceover about the past five years. He walks into a pawn shop, and immediately divulges far too much information about himself to the proprietor. He actually says "that's a piece of history right there, my horn. That horn is my life, mister." And THEN there's the pawn shop owner saying he'll give some low sum, and the trumpet player says "what?! this is real brass, mister. Like I said, it's my life. I can't just sell my life." and then he walks out, only to turn around and, with much effort, sell it. As he's walking out, a pained expression crosses his face and he says "just let me play it one more time!" And, of course, he is allowed to do so.

It's the first movie in a long time that I have legitimately stopped halfway through. Will and I just acted out the rest of the movie ourselves. Don't see this movie.

And now, having written all that, I suddenly remembered that I wanted to make either a reference to Jake Reeder in this post or ask him a question through it. I have no IDEA what that reference or question might have been, though. If anyone else would like to ask Jake Reeder anything, though, you can reach him by posting on the comments page. You don't even have to KNOW Jake Reeder to do it. Go ahead, you know you want to.